"The world gives rise but to defensiveness. For threat brings anger, anger makes attack seem reasonable, honestly provoked, and righteous in the name of self-defense. Yet is defensiveness a double threat. For it attests to weakness, and sets up a system of defence that cannot work. Now are the weak still further undermined, for there is treachery without and still a greater treachery within. The mind is now confused, and knows not where to turn to find escape from its imaginings."
A Course in Miracles
It is never fun to be challenged on your beliefs. When someone dares to question or threaten what you believe is true, it can trigger deep emotions. The fact is that defensiveness is NOT some behaviour that is provoked from an outside attacker. The weakness or a tendency toward defensiveness has been inside you all along and usually it doesn’t take much to set it off. Defensiveness means that the ego runs the show, and the need to be right will continue leaving its mark. However, if you can remember: The Wise person will remain Wise because his or her inner foundation is Solid in Spirit and love. I believe a higher level of consciousness can be ours if we put down the swords and heal our minds. LEARN to live without defensiveness before you lose a friend and a beautiful life opportunity.
How? If a person is willing to let go of their positionalities, they no longer need to be defensive. Close your eyes and step within yourself, and ask if you are quick to be defensive when your beliefs are challenged. Remember, defensiveness is a result of pridefulness, importance, and the need to always be ‘right.’ AND At a deep inner core level, you strongly feel attacked (victim) by others. Unconsciously, survival now becomes extremely important to your personhood.
A Jyl Story: On my last visit to the USA, I found that I was being bombarded with defensive reactions everywhere I turned. The first situation came early in my visit from a healer friend. We were having an innocent conversation about our work as healers and BAM—the energy all of a sudden went into a defensive mode. I was a little taken back, but I simply wrote off my friend's behaviour. Unfortunately, I got to see first hand how deeply invested she was in always being right. Shortly after that, I was offering a healing to a woman and her family. As the spirit world was providing some helpful insights—the overly sensitive individual became unhinged, explosive, and extremely defensive. Ugh. The defensiveness continued with many more similar situations. Finally, at the end of my 3-month stay, I was thinking about doing a podcast with this young guy, until I realised it was not a good fit. Before I had the chance to move away from the podcaster's energy, our emails had gotten the best of the situation. At this point, I was so fed up with all the defensiveness that I lost my patience. I kept asking myself, "Do people really think it is okay to treat one another with a strong defensive tone?"
At the end of the day, The Spiritual Law of Divine Order says that the spirit world is always sending the right teachers at the right time. All my encounters had pushed me to ponder defensiveness—mine and others. I prayed and asked why this was happening. Did I also share the need to always be right? The point is that we all need to put our strong egos aside for a moment. Think about our actions and learn to be open to change.
All actions have coincidences. Stay mindful.
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